PROBLEMS?
Dear Effy...
1. Me and my boyfriend recently had a blazing row and said some nasty things. I've never seen this side to him and we have been together a year. He grabbed my arm and i feel different now. What do i do??
Anonymus, Essex
2. I have been with my boyfriend for less than a month and I already felt pressure to have sex. My mum had me young and I am really worried I am pregnant but if my mum finds out she will kill me. Help ??
Anonymous, Leyland
3. My mum and dad are curently at each others necks every single day. It is a horrible environment to live in. I heard the word 'divroce' be screamed last night but they haven't mentioned it to me and my sister. It'll break her heart and i'm worried about my education.
Any advice?
Anonymus, Cheshire
4. Recently I have started to absue drugs. I have always been known to smoke a joint at a party alongside a few friends, but its started getting steeper. I have tried cocaine, MDMA and more than once. I don't want to fall down this path, I want a future and study Maths. I don't know what to do I can't tell my family.
Anon London
5. I feel silly saying it and don't want anyone to know because I have a boyfriend but I started questioning my sexuality. I have no sexual desires towards him but I do for my best friend. I don't know how to handle it.
Anon Chelsea
1. You cannot change a person. If anger brews within them, it is your choice whether you help him get the help he needs or leave him. Do not feel guilty - itis not your fault! He needs to apologise and be eternally apologetic before you even hear him out. Do NOT let this become a reoccuring thing and remain quiet! Make sure you tell someone about this whether it happens again or not.
2. Firstly, do not panic - what's done is done. You must ensure you always use contraception and you should really tell your mother. Take yourself to the doctors and ask for a pregnancy test. It's best to address the problem as early as possible. Your boyfriend should not be expecting anything from you, as you're not comfortable he should respect that and wait for you.
5. Questionning your sexuality is a much more common thing than you probably think. My advice is that you should maybe put things on hold with your boyfriend until you are more sure. There are plenty of websites like the 'Calm Zone' and 'ChildLine' to simply test yourself. You need to take time to work out what you want and remember who you are. You are NOT alone and do not feel pressured into doing ANYTHING you don't want to do.
4. Drugs are a really bad route to fall down. They do not ease the pain they complicate your life even more than before and will not chage anything. You will not be able to face the road to recovery alone you must tell someone! Your family will care about your health and wellbeing so tell them - they will know how to take your mind off it! Good luck, believe in yourself!
3. Your parents will be tackling their own problems and more than likely don't want to pile them on top of you as well. Try your hardest to concentrate on your studies and see your friends as often as possible. Speak to another relative to offload! I understand how hard it is but you have to make sure you don't feel alone. We can help you too!